Good Grief: Assist Colleagues, Customers, Clients, Friends, Family After Disasters
The California wildfires have destroyed thousands of acres and displaced hundreds of thousands of residents.
It’s the signature of Susan B. Anthony that Ellen Snortland cannot replace, along with so much else lost in the devastation brought by the California wildfires that destroyed her home in Altadena.
But it is the support and comfort she has received from her friends in her 50 Women Can Change The World in Media & Entertainment, a Take The Lead cohort from 2017, that uplifts her at a horrendous time.
“The 50 women should be called 50 angels,” says Snortland, a journalist, author, actor, writer, producer, director, lawyer, coach, advocate and counselor. After her home was completely destroyed, Snortland says, “They stepped right up, with Nancy De Los Santos leading the charge; they Venmoed me a nice chunk of cash immediately.” De Los Santos is a screenwriter and member of the cohort.
“The 50 Women cohort has truly showed up for me,” Snortland says.
Read more from Gloria Feldt on resources to help after the wildfires
This group of 50 women were part of Take The Lead’s training seven years ago, and their ongoing compassion to assist her in recovery was a welcome comfort. “I feel loved and enfolded by our sisterhood,” Snortland says, co-author of the 2016 book, Beauty Bites Beast: The Missing Conversation About Ending Violence.
“I feel #loved and #enfolded by our #sisterhood. They stepped right up. –@EllenBitesBeast, member of @takeleadwomen 50 Women Can Change The World in Media & Entertainment 2017 cohort”
Read more in Take The Lead on 50 Women in Media & Entertainment
As the wildfires over the last few weeks have been spreading across Southern California and engulfed her home in Altadena, Snortland, author of the 2014 book, The Safety Godmothers: The ABCs of Awareness, Boundaries and Confidence for Teens, says, “We found out it was gone by a neighbor showing us a video of what they saw.”
Tragically the wildfires in Los Angeles and many surrounding counties have costs escalating up to $80 billion, with this being the seventh-costliest natural disaster in the U.S. in the last 45 years. With 28 deaths and hundreds of thousands of residents displaced, the outpouring of resources and compassion is enormous.
“Tragically the #wildfires in #LosAngeles and many surrounding counties have costs escalating up to $80 billion, with this being the #seventhcostliest natural disaster in the U.S. in the last 45 years. ”
How a friend, colleague, or leader of an organization, business, company, community or entrepreneurial effort reacts can directly affect not only employees, customers, clients and team members, but can shape relationships now and in the future. It can also change perception of a leader’s mindfulness and gestures of philanthropy.
Announcements of industry efforts to help include AT&T, ABC News with its SoCal Strong fundraising of $6 million and Disney’s pledge of $15 million to different agencies helping in rescue and recovery. Other major relief donors include Amazon at $10 million, Sony at $5 million, Beyonce’s Beygood Foundation at $2.5 million, plus American Airlines, Costco Wholesale and State Farm.
Individuals and small businesses can also join in assistance for relief, as well as cohort groups and mentors, offering goods and services. Entrepreneurs in the beauty business in Los Angeles have stepped in to offer relief.
The Red Cross reports more than 12,000 structures have been destroyed and thousands have been evacuated while many more volunteers have rushed to offer assistance. The Emergency Network Los Angeles is coordinating services and L.A. Works offers volunteer information “to help with housing, child care, food and specific needs from local nonprofits.” In addition, CaliforniansForAll.ca.gov is a clearinghouse for volunteer opportunities.
While many are donating clothing from around the country, agencies report that more necessary at this time are food, water, personal products and money, including gift cards and cash.
“While many are #donating clothing from around the country, agencies report that more necessary at this time are #food, #water, #personalproducts and #money, including gift cards and cash.”
Tiffany Shlain, artist, Emmy-nominated filmmaker and bestselling author, held a fundraiser recently in her home and offers a variety of opportunities to support individuals or families in Los Angeles who are displaced or in need. A frequent partner with Take the Lead, Shalin offers links to specific ways to offer assistance: Master List of Families Who Have Lost Their Home, Displaced Black Families of Altadena & Pasadena GoFundMe Directory, Displaced Latine Families - LA Fires Mutual Aid Directory, Displaced Disabled Folks - LA Fires Mutual Aid Directory, and Displaced Musicians and Artists - LA Fire.
Here is a list of nonprofits that you can fund directly: California Fire Foundation, LA Food Bank, Climate Crisis Relief Fund, Pet Rescue LA Animal Services, and LA Resource Aid List (Kindness Hub).
Read more in Take The Lead on Tiffany Shlain
Many celebrities have also lost their homes, reports USA Today, and they include Paris Hilton, James Woods, Cameron Mathison, Billy Crystal and Tina Knowles. Many others, from Halle Berry to Jamie Lee Curtis to Duchess Meghan Markle, are going public to help in the relief effort.
Berry tells USA Today, "I'm from Meadville, Pennsylvania, and a famous quote from Margaret Mead says never forget that a group of thoughtful committed citizens can make a difference. This is something we can do right now today to help all of the displaced families that are in need of the basics today.”
While the loss and grief is overwhelming so many people and communities in the wake of this recent wave of disasters, it is critical to adopt a non-pitying or judgmental attitude in communicating with those who have been affected.
“While the #loss and #grief is overwhelming so many in the wake of this recent wave of #disasters, it is critical to adopt a #nonpitying or judgmental attitude in #communicating with those who have been affected. ”
“Please don’t say things like, ‘You should…’ Ask and then listen,” Snortland says. “No unsolicited advice, please. We know that possessions are possessions. Please don’t say, ‘They are just things…’ We know that.”
Snortland also says she is practicing “patience and pace. We have unanswerable questions right now, so we stay with the simple things: what do I need today? What do the dogs need? Is it time for a nap?”
“We have unanswerable #questions right now, so we stay with the simple things: what do I #need today? What do the dogs need? Is it time for a nap? –@EllenBitesBeast”
Such loss and displacement are emotional and taxing, she adds, “I’m of good cheer maybe twice a day. And my moods are like a roller coaster; not surprising since we are PTSD-ing hard right now.”
Experts say the impact on those enduring and surviving this disaster can last for years — even generations—causing stress, anxiety, as well as feelings of isolation and grief.
According to Time, “The national mental-health help line, 988, says they saw a five-fold increase in the number of calls from the Los Angeles region from Jan. 7, when the fires began, to Jan. 15.”
“We did a brief analysis of what people are talking about, and the predominant emotions people are experiencing are fear, grief and a real intense sense of uncertainty,” Tia Dole, a psychologist and chief 988 suicide and crisis lifeline officer, tells Time.
Dr. Shairi Turner, chief health officer at Crisis Text Line, tells Time, “Our main message is: seek support, whether that support is formal therapy, reaching out to friends or family members, or finding a group of people that have lived through a similar experience.”
Takeaway of The Week:
”The 50 women cohort has truly showed up for me. The 50 women should be called 50 angels.”
Ellen Snortland, author, director, producer, lawyer, member of Take The Lead’s 50 Women Can Change The World in Media & Entertainment
